Monday, 7 June 2010


Today is my day one after Jane passed.I decided to wait a bit before writing out of respect,but then I remembered what she had said to me once,that she enjoyed my blog because of its 'in-your face' honesty.If she was here today she would expect no less from me,no whining,not grief,not self absorbing thoughts,I can be that way,so I wont be.Today I write this entry so that she can read one of many blogs,she enjoyed,and to laugh and cry with me as I continue my journey.The funeral is 11th this friday,please leave a wish at the door of her blog to guide her onto her new life.
Well another weekend over,the weeks are passing by so fast.I am due to start two of my children on their journey into private tuition,yes folks you heard it here.Im still home teaching,but weve gone all posh and upmarket.Yeah right,well ok maybe not so posh,but a bit extra is always welcome.
Isnt it just?
So they will be having a few evenings doing extra work,he he I know Im wicked,well you cant have enough education I say. 
My daughter is due to start an apprentiship soon too,so I may have a bit more time on my hands soon,dont whine I wasnt going to spend it here.
Ive got decorating to do,and in the absence of a drum roll,I shall just bore you with the details.
We have a top room loft conversion,( dont get too excited),and after having the rest of the loft insulated,it has become damp with condensation,not enough air flow you see,so Ive been cleaning mould off the walls and this week we should be popping in a few small air vents.Then I can paint away,white ceiling and lilac walls,its my daughters bedroom,so hopefully lilac instead of pink will mean she will move out quicker.There is method in my madness lol.
I have to go to a hospital appointment on wednesday about the lump on my breast,so far since I discovered it,its been five weeks and still no diagnosis,so hopefully wednesday will give me an answer.If I have to go back in another two weeks Im going to be angry.My G.P wont commit to an answer because...get this... if he was wrong he could be in court over it.So what is the point of having a blessed gp? If he says you have flu and you find out it was syphallis would you take him to court? Seriously?
So I have to sit in a darkened corridor,alone,while I wait for someone who can tell me,what it is,I feel so much better with such an impersonal diagnosis,far be it for me to want my own gp,who I know and trust to give me the answer,when a complete stranger can do it oh so much better.For crying out loud.This is my life !!
I had to make my own appointment online,then I got a computer generated confirmation,as yet no human being has dealt with me,will I see a robot on wednesday? Its like phoning your bank isnt it? Going through the multiple choice questionnaire and then not even getting a person to talk to about your overdraft.
''Hello you have reached the blood sucking bank,you have three options,press one for I cant afford my overdraft,press two for pay all of my overdraft,press three for I dont want an english speaking person to talk to me.
You pressed one,now choose from two further options,press one for I cant afford to pay my overdraft today,press two for I cant afford to pay it ever,
You pressed two,please press the hash key to confirm this is your answer.
You have confirmed you cannot ever pay your overdraft,you will be visited by three ghosts starting this evening,the blood sucking bank does not take responsibility for fear caused by the afore-mentioned ghosts and if you wish to cancel this arrangement you must give 28 days notice from todays date in writing to.....Beeeeeeep,the message box is now full if you wish to leave a message please call back in a few days.''
My life in a nutshell folks.
Oh well this wont get anything done,Im off to get a coffee and a ginger cream to dunk.Toodle pip.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


ardi said...

thanks for the information

Ally Lifewithally said...

Zoe Jane was an inspiration to us all ~ one great brave lady never to be forgotten ~
I laughed at your telephone conversation ~ you described it so well ~ something we come up against every day ~ Ally x

mortonlake said...

lol.i hear jane laughing hun,thanks for comment on mine.we all deal with things in our own way hun,mine is to write it as a sad song.but whichever way,LILAC WALLS ARE VILE WOMAN. ive looked it up,im sure the thought police can take you away for being a cruel mother. take care zoe.and good luck ok?? and i mean that my my thoughts,love mort xxxx

ADB said...

Jane will be there in our minds, Zoe, while we carry on. Never a dull moment in your life, although I think you can probably do without the excitement you talk about in this post.