Thursday 15 April 2010

Pet hates

Ooh Im on a roll here,Im gonna do my pet hates,I wont include the previous ones because they are few of the many collective,but yes things that wind me up...here we go....ready? I dont care...
Men who leave the toilet seat up all the time,not the occaisional offender,thats ok if he grovels alot,but the repeat offenders.

Men who pee on the floor,especially if the floor has that colour linollium that it doesnt show up on.Grrr.

Men who bend over in front of you and give you the treat of sweaty bum hair,dont even ask !!

Women who dont wear a bra,I dont care if you only have two fried eggs,I dont want my attention averted from the baked bean section at Asda to witness two nobbly nipples unevenly spaced trying to escape from their confines,,( a little tip for you,excuse the pun lol,its not a good look and to be honest,the chances that one isnt sat lower than the other is minimal,whoever told you you look good like that was taking the mickey).

Women who wear leggings because they think it makes them look slim,it doesnt babe we can see your wobbly bits and bobbly bits,if you get me.

People who dont wash and subject us to the pungent aroma of bodily excretions,you must be able to smell it too for crying out loud,look the smell of b.o.,bad breath or worse,fish,is offensive and I dont want to be behind you in the post office queue.Its not hard,warm water and soap and bobs your uncle.Do it.

Women of a certain age being vain,now this is a tough subject,I know we all want to look our best and/or look young,but can I just say,more make up wont do it,neither will a facelift or botox.Whatever happened to laughter lines? After working with elderly people one thing stood out the most,I was so jealous of their soft beautiful skin,flawless,translucent almost English rose.Beautiful isnt Jordan,she cant even move her mouth its so numb,beautiful isnt skinny,throughout the ages,curvy women have been reveared,sensual and beautiful,so what if you dont want to donn a bikini,I dont blame you,unless youre a 32 hhh people will stare....no they wont,sod them all be yourself,stop trying so hard to be someone else and enjoy life,you only get one.

People who are rude,this is general really,bad mannered,foul mouthed slaggy individuals,who use people for their own ends.I absolutely hate them,theyre everywhere,infesting the place with their spite,girls who will sleep with your man just because they can and theyre jealous youre so happy,foul mouthed men and women who think being smutty is what the other wants,its bloody well not.

People who think its funny to take the rise out of the mentally handicapped or less fortunate and chavvy fat ugly women who shout obscenities in the street at some bloke they slept with,on a sunday afternoon when youre relaxing in your garden.I could go on but you get my drift.

People who say aww alot and nod their heads in sympathy when youre talking,then regail you with a worse story to make you feel small.Like if you had an operation and youre recovering,Oh theyve had it too but they woke up half way through and saw the whole thing,or they had to have a limb amputated after nose surgery,or they know someone who knows someone whose distant relative died from what youve just had done,usually they were eating breakfast,their recovery was good,then they got up out of the chair and died,dont listen to these people,theyre liars,they have nothing better to do all day,the bloody nosey jumped up idiots.

Exs...just exs.

1 comment:

Jan said...

Yes I can agree with most of this especialy about the makeup ,after a certain age less is more ,and as for topping your story, well you can see them dying for you to finish, not really listening, cutting you off before you've done in order to better your tale... grrr ...love Jan xx