Alone

Im back now from being with Pete over the weekend,I say over the weekend,to be honest by the time my ex had finished faffing about and got back to have our son,I didnt get to Petes until saturday afternoon/lunchtime,so we only really had yesterday together.It leaves me feeling a bit lonely if Im honest.I am seeing him tomorrow,but only in town,so although its nice,its not great.You have to say goodbye,thats hard,watching him walk or drive away.
I know life is busy and Im just whinging as per normal,but when we have such a short time together,it leaves me empty.
Today I am at a bit of a loss as to what to do with myself,I tend to do alot of housework,waiting for him to text me,but he will be busy and time flies by,then its evening and we text a bit then its bed and Im alone again.I love to talk,as you know lol,and so having no-one to just chat away to or cuddle up to means sleeping is hard.
Ive tried everything,listening to music,a hot bath blah blah,but it doesnt work,so I stay up so late,sometimes 4am,until Im so tired I have to go to bed.
When Im at home,I dont eat much,my stomach is in a knot all the time,waiting to hear from him...yes I know Im silly,but it feels like if I eat Ill be sick.When it gets to thursdays I get better,If Im seeing him from friday that is,and I get so excited I cant wait.
I meant excited like butterflies in my stomach,not what youre thinking,I wouldnt say anyway lol.
Its Petes birthday soon and Im looking forward to it,I hope he enjoys what Ive sorted for him.I love to see him smile,hes got a beautiful smile,you know when someone is happy and their eyes smile at you,its like that.He doesnt call me names or raise his voice,he doesnt threaten me or make me feel ugly,its still so new and fresh its lovely,but Im so very lonely too,its weird eh?
So Im popping a video here to show how I feel and for anyone whose missing someone too,it says what I cant see you later xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx